Ok, I'm desperate

It's apparent there are no quick fixes to losing weight and getting healthy. It will take time and effort. Will it be worth it? I think so, but only if I make a few other adjustments. I have for quite a while now kept my wall up around me and not let very many people get too close. And sure, for the most part that has kept my heart safe from getting hurt. But it's also left me lonely and unfulfilled. How does one take a wall down? Brick by brick or dynamite? 

Sigh--I'm Back

It's been a while. I am still fighting the battle without much success. I've tried "The 17 Day Diet" "HCG" (again) "The Virgin Diet" (food allergies) and decided I'd just get used to being fat. Basically, giving up. I have bought one piece of (still unused) exercise equipment. I know each and every one of these things, if followed, plus a little exercise would surely work. But I just can't seem to get into gear. I look like the Michelin Man in my motorcycle jacket. It's not a pretty sight.

A Little Junk in the Trunk

My beautiful grandaughter, who's 10 years old, is going through puberty ALREADY. She has budding little breasts and has started her "woman time" already. She is pushing 5 feet tall and size 9 (yep, you heard right) shoes. Her mom posted on Facebook the other day that she was lying on her bed trying to squeeze into pants a size too small. And so it begins--the loathing of one's body and the desire to look like the size 0 models who adorn all the magazines and television. We will tell her she is perfect and beautiful just the way she is. We will try to teach her healthy eating habits when all her friends are gorging on pizza and donuts. She probably will not listen to us and may give up on her weight to eat all the treats her friends do, but end up angry and frustrated with her lack of willpower and growing waistline or perhaps she will get on the diet "rollercoaster" or (heaven forbid) the eating disorder "rollercoaster". We are not good examples--my comment to that Facebook post was: yep, she has a little junk in her trunk like her Grandma. God help us all!

Fat and 50

I have always had difficulty keeping weight off. Except during the 1980's when cocaine was my drug of choice. Since then I have tried The Atkins Diet, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, The Fat Flush, Detoxing, Electronic Muscle Stimulation also known as Bailine (very expensive but did work until they closed the business--worth every penny to me, by the way) and many others that I have forgotten or were so awful I have totally blocked them from my memory. I truely believe that it all boils down to diet and exercise (Whaaaaa! Small tear rolling down my face) Did I mention I'm VERY lazy. That my motto is "The Queen doesn't cook", which I try to live by in every possible case. I will eat out at every possible opportunity and the fact that I have no money saved for my retirement well into my 50's is partially because I spent it all going out to eat. Some friends have had success with the HCG Protocol but when I tried it myself I gave up. It wasn't so much a hunger factor (I wasn't) but a mental factor. I was used to eating a certain way and it was very difficult to change that. Hmmmmmm--wondering about trying to get a group together for support.